Here it comes again! Nearly ten years later to the day. WTF?! Some truths must be delt with in person.

I started writing this on June 14th, 2017.

Here it comes again!  Nearly ten years later to the day.  WTF?! Some truths must be dealt with in person.  I think?  My sister’s death.  June 21, 2007.   Dad, to me, “Have a nice life.” -June 2017.  Not sure what that ment.  Never will now as though it seems.  Had always gotten along with my dad but he lived in denial about my mom.  Lots of resentment and anger left behind.  Trying to figure how to clean up that mess.  My weird humor just makes me laugh out at how things turned out.  What-the-Fuck!  I think that was the call I didn’t want to make.  Would rather have avoided.  But, did.

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Unit 13, Miami

Now that leaves just a couple of things to tidy up that mess and then let it rest in peace like I should have done the day of her funeral.  I so was afraid of what I might say, or do.  Embarrass them in front of whoever showed up.  Maybe I could have let it rest then and missed my opportunity, the stage was set that is for sure.  I have a way of putting things that can cause an earthquake of a response which is usually why I’m the quiet one.  Let people figure it out on their own, be there to bandage up the wounds if necessary.  Clarity comes from experience.

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Unit 13, Miami

Father failed to recognize mother has a problem and blamed my sister and I for all of it I now realize.  Part of me thinks he is glad we are gone.  That is a hard one to wrap around since I presented science not emotion as evidence.  Completely, ignored.  One of the most disapointing moments in my life.  Not sure what to do, I’ll go on with life as usual and leave them to themselves.  I will visit my sister and cross that bridge that we couldn’t cross before.  That will be another part of the story for the future.

One thing is for sure, I miss my sister.  -13

DUCKS IN A ROW.

So much for my documenting getting it done.  I get into the projects and don’t want to stop.  One thing/project leads to the other I’m so far behind with my plans.  Next thing I know I’m waking up ready to go for more.  Given the time, the materials and it’s going to get done.  Have to get better with the note’s/blogging.  All the sitting around has been driving me crazy and I don’t want to get near a computer for fear of getting distracted.  It did inspire me to start the dash cam YouTube channel.  Did get some of my gear repackaged and labeled.  That will be another blog for sure.

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Then there are those simple truths that life has a way of teaching us when we reflect.  Sure does make you wonder doesn’t it. It can all happen anyway no matter how hard you try to make it turn out differently despite the goals you set, promises made, education level, or experience. Sometimes, seem to make it worse. Never imagined landing in this space but I’m here. What the hell is it about that truth all up in my face! Understanding a whole new level of myself and why I’m like I am.  Apprehensive to attempt to influence in any way based on the past attempts.  What feels like altruistic intentions blows up in my face.  Wondering what to do, or should I do anything at all.

Had to add this onto the original post.  Not sure why I’ll do it but several post I’d thought I’d published, werent.  Thought I’d clicked the publish button but didn’t then find myself wondering how did I do that. I think I’d clicking to see the preview and confusing the two.  Who knows?  I’m all over the place trying to catch up with everything.   I’ll have to put maintaining my sanity at the top of the to-do list.  -13

Daily Log:1 Non-original, new idea for me to note progress.

First it has came to my mind to simply list what I tick off my list or add on along the way.  Not tracking project progress just making notes of what was done on a particular day since I can’t always remember the extras.  I’m often working off a list but also fit in little projects here and there then wonder what I’ve done with my time.

I was once going to try to blog it everyday but that doesnt always work on my very odd schedule.  This will help though with short notes.  I’ll add or seperatly blog anything that requires a paragraph or more.

 

 

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  • Hosed off carport, driveway, sidewalk
  • Moved dying orchids to another location in mostly shade under the carport.  Will have to water regularly since they’ll get minimal rain.  Maybe I can salvage them.
  • Cleared yard debris, the palm fronds never stop falling in south Florida, or the coconuts.  The plumeria are in full bloom, along with the jasmine, the scent drifting in the air is intoxicating
  • Vacuumed the van, not too dirty this time.
  • Potted plants watered.
  • Cleared all personal plants from the side of the house.  Complete!
  • NOTE: Late afternoon light is shinning next to the entry door I may have to move the orchids that I’m trying there.